Sarah
Don't give up

To Whom It May Concern,

I just want the world to know I am so tired of being sick. But I just refuse to give up. One time I just started screaming and saying Lord why me then I thought to myself, this shall pass and maybe come again but always pray, because prayer helps you carry on. One time I was very ill in one month. It was awful and I was all alone except for one friend of mine who came to see me at the hospital but believe it or not now he passed away. Bless his heart. Really I didn't tell anyone when I was really sick. They had to come in house with a key. And I lied and told them that I was o.k. but at that time you wouldn't believe it but my skin was falling off my body like corn flakes. Don't ask me what that was because I don't know. They said it was shingles. Then I broke out in hives. My whole body was full of red bumps like I had the measles. Then I stayed in the hospital for a while; weeks for a bad infection in my foot and my legs. I know its not over yet because it comes and goes.

But one thing I would also like to say that if you're doing drugs or drinking alcohol, please try and stop because that interferes with the medication. See I've been clean for a few years and I still be sick so you can imagine what drugs and alcohol are doing toward the medication. Right now I don't feel good but life goes on.

Some times I watch the health channel and different knowledge channels about your health. Some times when you get time watch those channels because they are very interesting to watch. I try to get some information any way I can to find out to horrible this, but its not easy. I'm just taking it one day at a time because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Like I said sometimes when you feel like this get involved in some kind of groups! And some one to talk too. I use to isolate but that makes you feel even worse believe me. Believe me I'm just now trying to open up to people. Because, you know how you don't want every body knowing your business.

But I'm trying because sometimes when I get sick I get a little nervous around the house. Because I live by myself and it's scary sometimes. I hurt everyday very seldom do I have good days. But when I do I try and do as much as I can that day. Because my sickness is strong. It might be here today and gone tomorrow. But I'm telling you when you have a good day; take advantage of it and enjoy it because you might not be that great but deal with it. Also pray because it's o.k. today only if you Pray. That's my prayer I say sometimes. I also say just for today I would ask god to give me health & strength just for today. Never say never because if you do, you have given up hope. Like I said life goes on. Never give up just trust God he brought you to far. So you know it will be all right just have it up to God. I don't want to sound like I'm preaching but believe sometime. I have to sit down and thank God for a few things not only for health. But things he has done for me and still helps me when I need him. I think that's showing him compassion and respectfulness.

Well I'm about out of words to say but I just want to tell you this is one of my good days so far but I know later things might change but I take it as it comes. Like I say just for today I will always pray because nobody's perfect: you just don't know how bad I want to be well but like it said, "This too shall pass because it will not last." I'm just moving right along, keeping my head up right. Because if you think positive you wont have time to think about (negativity) thoughts. I know you hate the treatment (but think of it like this: If it wasn't for the treatment I don't think we would be here: still alive (HELLO!) Well I'll call it a day now. May God bless you all, you'll be in my prayers. Remember, prayer helps. Don't Give Up. Amen

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