Abraham
A NEW LOOK AT "AIDS"

I have an angel. Her name is Sharon, and she is my case manager at Open Door Clinic. She has been there for me practically ever since I was diagnosed with AIDS. She told me about the "Legacy Campaign" and suggested that I write my story with the idea that my story could help another, AND I could win money! That sounded like a real WIN/WIN situation. How has HIV/AIDS affected my life? This is how my story goes.

When I first received the AIDS virus, I was already on my spiritual path. Consequently I didn't go through the ordinary trauma associated with the diagnosis. And I didn't have to suffer any of the drama! I am a woman of faith. I surrendered to God in 1984 with the prayer, "I will to will Thy Will." From that moment, my life was entirely in God's hands. I have never looked back.

When recently asked, "What is your worst fear?" I laughed and laughed and laughed as I answered, "I have been divorced, disowned, threatened, and thrown into a mental hospital. I have been rejected, evicted, attacked, arrested, homeless, penniless, robbed and raped. I have been diagnosed with AIDS, lived with the pain of shingles for more than four years, and much more. What can I possibly fear? I have overcome the world."

Recently an acquaintance told a group of women that she was in an accident ten years ago and got Hepatitis C through a blood transfusion. She added, "It could have been worse. I could have gotten AIDS!" So I told her, "AIDS is not the worst thing. I have AIDS. The worst thing is not having faith in God's Word!!" Of course, if one doesn't know the Word of God, it's rather hard to believe it.

July 4, 1987 I wrote in my journal, "Watch out AIDS. Here comes LOVE!!" This was published in a book, "All That I Am" in 1990. In January, 1991 I was raped. In September, 1998, I went for the test and received the confirmation that I was HIV positive. A few months later my t-cells went below 200, and I had AIDS.

When you are on the spiritual path, that is, loving God with whole heart soul, mind and strength, and being called according to His purpose, all things work together for the good. (Romans 8:28) This is the first Scripture I really experienced. I no longer had to believe. I knew it. God had already demonstrated it many times in my life. And so, with the AIDS diagnosis, I knew that God was going to use it for good!

My mission is to demonstrate with my life that God's Word is true. God's Word tells me that I am healed by the stripes of Jesus. God's Word tells me that He is the God Who heals me. Now I did not know any of this in September, 1998, but God immediately led me to Living Word Christian Center in Forest Park, Illinois, where I was filled with the Holy Spirit and I was taught the "Living Word!" Today, regardless of how circumstances look, I stand on that Word.

At LWCC I began to meet people who had already been healed. Our Lord tells us in the gospel, "Your faith has made you whole." When we believe, and focus on God's goodness instead of what the doctor said, then we are on the right path. This has been my challenge. We all have an inner guidance that will never let us down. The world is full of illusions and lies, usually designed to make somebody rich. God's Word is not just the Bible, but it is written by God Himself on your mind and in your heart.

There are only two paths. They are fear and love. When we operate out of fear, we are lost. When we operate out of love, all heaven is open to us. All of God's blessings flow to us. Yes, we are blessed and highly favored. I was prepared to receive the virus when I wrote, "Watch out AIDS. Here comes LOVE." I had no idea of why I wrote that, except that I had been led by the Spirit. When I was diagnosed, I realized that my mission was to demonstrate the healing power of Love.

And so, I am stepping out. I am a writer and an inspirational speaker. Even strangers in the grocery line tell me that they are so glad to have met me because I inspired them. I bring the light of love and truth wherever I go. And I see people changed! This is the greatest joy…to touch another's life with God's love.

Oh yes, I have had my "down" times, especially when hit with a severe case of shingles in 2001. I lost twenty pounds in two months. But, because of my spiritual training, I laid in bed and prayed for others. This took my mind off of the pain, and got me through it. The shingles were followed by a depression with thoughts of death. However, the idea of jumping into the Fox River just to find the water only came up to my nipples, and then, having to walk home all wet and drippy, was not appealing. Everything else was too messy. After spending "Mother's Day" with five of my beautiful grandchildren, I received a new resolve to live for them, and not take the coward's way out.

This brings me to a very important distinction. The Word of God tells us to choose LIFE! How many of us wallow in self pity and misery. To be happy and joyful is a choice we make, not something that just happens to us. I have had to make that choice over and over many times. I am still making it. But, guess what? It really works. We begin to look alive. It shines through our very being. And the whole world is made a little better by our choice. I even wrote a poem about it…

Drawing from the Well

I used to feel so empty. It was a long dry spell
Until I learned the secret of drawing from the well.

I asked the Lord to fill me up so I could realize
All the love that was within me. He opened up my eyes

And I saw beauty all around. As it came pouring in,
My spirit started its ascent. It rose straight up to Him.

And then He opened up my ears so I could hear His voice.
He told me that I needn't cry. I really had the choice

To be happy every moment. I'm now so filled with love
That it just keeps overflowing from the well that's up above.

Come. There's plenty for all.

The world is filled with sadness and misery. My mission is to bring more joy to the world, just like Jesus! He told us that we would go into all the world and do even greater things than He did. I believe every word that Jesus says. And so, by writing my story, I hope to awaken in every reader the Word of God which is written on your minds and in your hearts, the Truth within. Did you ever notice that the word "heart" has the word "ear" between the "h" and the "t?" Yes, we have an ear in our heart so that we can hear our inner guidance. Yep, I wrote a poem about that too. Remember the old "KISS" method…Keep It Simple Stupid…or

The K.I.S.S. Method

Keep It So Simple. That's my advice to you.
Just put aside all of those rules and to yourself be true.

There is no preacher, saint or sage who can show you the way.
Christ Himself is in your heart. He'll guide you night and day.

The Teacher is within you. It's such a lovely plan.
When you seek inside yourself you'll find the great I Am.

This world is just illusion, materiality.
The Kingdom is within you. The truth will set you free.

So turn your back on Satan. He isn't worth his salt.
Give your whole self to Jesus. It's time to Christ exalt!

I have often been told that when I say my poems there is a light around me. This is because the poems came from Spirit, and they were not made up in my head. I used to wake up in the middle of the night with a cramp in my hand, and the words in my mind, "Get up and write!" When I tried to ignore it, the cramp would get tighter, and the words would get louder. Once I dragged myself to the table and picked up my pen, the poems would flow onto the paper. My Spirit had been composing them while I slept. By the time I was diagnosed with AIDS, I had written over eighty poems that represented words of life. I ministered to myself with these powerful words. And now the time has come to share these words with you if you will allow me to.

May I Minister to You?

My arms are aching to hold you close.
My heart is bleeding to heal your pain.

My mind is reaching, understanding you,
Knowing where you are and what you must do

To be whole and healthy, to be fully alive.
May I minister to you? God is my guide.

I'll carefully follow His wishes for you.
He wants you to learn how to be true

To your own special plan etched in your heart.
I'll help you find it. Can't wait to start!

Discovery is such a joy!

Yes, God has given me a ministry, His Rose Ministry of Love, Truth, and Beauty. If you'll visit my website, http://www.hisrose.org, you can learn a little more about that. But when we are in harmony with God's plan for us, we are all ministers. We each bring a piece of God into the world. AIDS is only one vehicle for us to bless others. Whatever you have been through, God WILL use it for good if you only put your life totally in His hands. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength. Get lost in the wonder of God.

The Wonder of God

The wonder of God
Might seem a bit odd

When we look within,
And there see His grin.

He's not hiding out.
It's only our doubt

That keeps Him from view.
He's in me! He's in you!

Though it seems rather strange,
We must rearrange

Our thoughts of divinity.
Why, it's you and it's me!

The Kingdom's inside.
That's where we abide.

This heavenly nation
Is God realization!

So we must change our focus from circumstances (AIDS) to God. We can begin by looking for the "GOOD" in everything. As we make the effort to practice this principle, the two "O's" will come together, and we will be seeing "GOD" in everything. We will recognize God's hand leading us in every situation. As we use the "ear" that is in our heart, we will receive divine guidance. These two simple ideas provide us with spiritual "eyes to see and ears to hear." We will no longer be "of the world," even though we are still in the world. And you will find that you are going for the "TOP!"

Go for the Top

As I learn to express,
I must confess

The idea is awesome
That God and I are one.

But if He's inside
I won't let Him hide.

I believed I was less
And my life was a mess!

Now I pull out all stops.
I go for the top.

I'm Divine!
That sounds fine.

It really is neat
Knowing everyone I meet

Has God inside too.
What a joy to know you!

Are you conscious of God in you? Are you overflowing with divine love? The Great Commandment tells us that we are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. It's time to turn things around and know that God will use AIDS as a way to connect you to other people who need you. Let your light shine into the world. It will shine away any darkness in your being, including your body, and you will be healed.

God's Alive and Well

Praise God! He's alive and well and living in my heart.
He's generating power to every other part.

He makes my eyes to sparkle. He makes my tongue so glib.
My ears are keen. My hair has sheen. Oh no, I'd never fib.

He makes my life so easy, I needn't exercise.
And yet my body's firm and fit because I realize

To love God with whole heart and soul is how we were designed.
When we're in harmony with truth, all else just falls in line.

So you may do your push-ups. Jog and jump until you're blue.
I've found an easy way to be my best. To God I'm true.

Try it. It really works.

Yes, this is my story, and I'm sticking to it. Because of my faithfulness to God, everything in my life, including AIDS, works together for good. This is my wish for you…that you begin to see the "GOOD" in every bit of your life, and that you begin to hear His voice speaking to your heart, revealing your true purpose. When we let go of negative thoughts of sickness and death, what remains is our true purpose for which we were created. We must look within to make this discovery. But once we do, nothing can by any means harm us. Come. Choose LIFE! Step out with me and be whole, healthy and fully alive.

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