ODC News Letter
January 2010 News Letter -
A Closer Look At David Roesler!
Old News Letters...
Story of a Latina mother
It was the summer of 1984 when I married the man of my dreams, the man who I was going to share the rest of my life with. It was a new beginning and the start of a dark future.
Latino women are docile and submissive to their husbands and take responsibility for the kids and domestic tasks. It was the way I was taught and raised; it was a tradition from my mother, grandmother and so on, I didn't know any other way to shape my life, since I didn't even finish 6th grade I had to work at home helping my mother and sometimes in the corn field helping my father
I grew up in the heart of a modest family, but I felt I was rich because I enjoyed every minute, hour, day and year with them. Many men from my hometown used to travel to the United States to work for some time and comeback every winter, after a few years. I met my husband in one of those home-towns holidays we were engage and got married.
A few months after the wedding he returned to United States and my first child was born in 1985. It was a difficult situation to be by myself with my child, even though my husband sent money to support us; we needed his presence and love. There were hard and lonely times but I was strong enough to keep a positive vision for my little child.
My husband came back to Mexico in 1989, I felt extremely happy and had a dream for the future of our family, in which we will stay all together without living our hometown. Unfortunately, he stayed for a few months and went back to United States. I felt sad and hopeless not to have a complete family and in some way to loss my husband again.
I got pregnant and my second child was born at the end of 1989, now I had double responsibility and felt much more abandoned. I felt the necessity of my children to be with their father. My husband and I talked seriously about immigrated to USA to live with him and being together. It was a dangerous and expensive trip especially when traveling with two little kids.Finally, we arrived into United States in the summer of 1990. It was difficult to get use to a new culture, a new language and new customs. My husband was the one who worked to support us as always, and I help him by working at home tailoring. He use to drink and sometimes he got home very late. I was new in this country and didn't know how to complain, he worked so hard during the week that I thought that he needed to get some time for himself, but it was going over the limits.
A few years went by and I was getting use to this country and our lifestyle became a routine. In 1993 I got pregnant again I felt happy and felt that this was going to change the routine of our family, it did. The sixth month of my pregnancy was the month in which my life was going change my whole life, when my husband became ill and ended up in the hospital. I was really worried because he was a strong man who rarely was sick. The doctor and nurse called me into the office to give me the horrible news.
My husband was infected with a Sexually Transmitted Infection and HIV. I felt that everything was trembling around me, my notions were senseless, I didn't know much about HIV but I knew it was deadly and that there was a chance that my baby and I might be infected.
A few weeks later I got tested in Aurora and my doubts were confirmed I was positive for HIV. I cried and was scared not for me, but for my kids I didn't want to leave my children by themselves and didn't want them to suffer. Another question was in my mind that was killing me. Were my children infected too? I was terrified, and my husband was very sad and depress. I tried to encourage him to fight for his and our lives we had to be strong because we had to protect our children.
I lost my baby a few weeks after the devastating news. I do not know if it was better for him not to come into this world, and probably infected too. My other two kids were tested and thank God! Their result were negative I felt much tranquil when I learned that they were not infected with the virus that was going to separate our family.
My husband suffered of a horrible depression and even thought councilors and social workers from "Caridades Catolicas" help us as much as they could, the reality of our lives and getting sicker every day wouldn't change the facts of getting close to dead.
My husband passed away in 1993, after three years of struggling with complications of AIDS. He was cremated, and even thought he was the one who brought the virus into our family, I still love him and I know that God has forgiven him. His ashes remain with me at home and they will soon be taken to Mexico. I feel in some way that he is close, taking care of us.
I have lost my sight as a result of the HIV infection I have been sick several times, I have been discriminated and rejected for my HIV status from family and "friends", but I have always maintained a positive attitude. I want to live for my children, and now my grandchildren and I know that some day this virus will win the fight, but I have learned to live with it and want to show that a mother can do incredible things when it comes to protect her children.
Seventeen years have passed since I immigrated to United States, and finally I have gotten my residence I will go back to the place where I belong, where my mother, brothers and sisters live. I will go back to the place where I met my husband, the place where his ashes will stay and the place that I had never left.
I speak for all the women who have been infected by their partners, who have been victims of this terrible virus, I speak for mothers who fight to stay alive, not because of themselves but because of their children, and for the housewives who think that this cannot happen to them.
It is uncertain what the future holds for me, but before returning to Mexico I want to thank all the people who have been there for me. To Open Door Clinic and the staff who have helped me for over 10 years for this good place that is always there, helping people who are living with HIV.
Thank you very much for all you have done for my kids and me.
God Bless you all.
